Zoom:
- use + / - keys
- or hold Ctrl + use scroll wheel (my favourite method)
- use scroll wheel over zoom indicator
- use one of the preset zooms listed in the keys + mouse reference:
https://inkscape.org/en/doc/keys092.html#d0e722All of these work without the zoom tool being selected. Zoom steps can be set in the preferences.
Highlight duration:
- can be set in preferences. Double-click on node tool icon, then select the options you want for it.
To familiiarize yourself a little more with what's avaiable, you can take a closer look at the keys+mouse reference, and also dive into the preferences (Edit-> Preferences). There are many settings that can be made there. If you're not sure what they do, most of them are mentioned in the manual, but some are newer - if in doubt, just ask
As for customizing, you can use a different icon set, add custom markers/extensions/patterns/symbol sets/filters/templates/keyboard maps to the stock ones, select between 3 different views (no customizable tool bars) + fullscreen + 'almost full screen', and edit the settings for all tools and many behaviours in the preferences (what I always recommend is to enable autosaves!).